Gone – But Forever A Part Of Me

The last 24 hours, my father weighed heavily in my spirit… to the point of tears. While at work, I prayed “please don’t let me start crying.” My father transitioned over three years ago; but in this moment, I felt the void stronger than ever…his absence to the point of pain. I started thinking about our long conversations, the debates, and me being able to simply talk about my upcoming community events and family issues. My father was a very attentive and a wise man. He always took me to a level of opening my mind and my eyes to see the bigger picture.

After moping around and realizing that it is what it is and I can’t bring my father back, I prayed to God and asked him to give me His spirit of discernment. Why am I in this space? The pain began to subside. I started transitioning from the emotional hijacking. I couldn’t talk to my father. I just completed two big community events – talking about my memoir A Mother’s Cry; He’s Still My Child and the premiere of Urban Renewal Impact – the Movie. I have been working on pushing the website, this blog, and jump starting my podcast. I believe my father being so strong in my spirit was telling me “Do it! What are you waiting for? You’ve been procrastinating. People are waiting for you.” That’s exactly what he would tell me. I may can’t see or touch him, but I still hear him in the spirit.encouraging me to take it to the next level. The pain I had is now joy. The rain that showered my spirit is now sunshine – sunshine that is so bright I need sunglasses. Thank you for being the wind beneath my wings and the sunshine on this cloudy day. You may be physically gone; but your spirit lives on. I know you are watching over me.